9.30.13- Christine

Ok, gang, let's talk for a second about deadlifts. Here's the thing: when I'm in the process of doing a deadlift, I think they are awesome. Mostly because I can lift massive amounts so I feel like a badass. The problem? Afterward I get really sore in my lower back, and I have no idea who to stretch it out. I always just have to squirm in my chair a little bit for a few days, and it is super annoying.

So, of course, today was a deadlift heavy day.

First, we did 12 sets of deadlifts at 235 pounds, 2 reps every 45 seconds.

Then we got our hero on with Christine.

In honor of the workout, here is a picture of Christine Taylor, 

who stole my heart on both Arrested Development and Hey Dude. 

Christine is supposed to be...

3 sets for time of:
- 500 meter row
- 12 deadlifts of my body weight (I did 235, rather than my own body weight.)
- 21 box jumps up to 24 inches (I did step ups to 18 inches.)

I finished this workout up in 12:54.

9.26.13- the Gym got bigger

Well, in my absence, the gym made a huge change. The knocked down a wall and now the premises are about double the size. Construction is still going on, but it seems like the place is going to be great!

In any case, today was such a hodge-podge of different workouts, my head was swimming afterward:

AMRAP in 5min:
KB Snatch - I did 90 at 16 Kilograms. I could have done more, but my hands were so sweaty and slippery I had to constantly stop to re-chalk so it wouldn't go flying out of my hand and hit someone in the head!Rest 5minAMRAP in 1minPush-ups- I did 30. Even though i was struggling, it was still the third in the class.Rest 1minAMRAP in 3minJump rope- I got to 180. Wow is it tiring.Rest 5For time:Row 2k- I was sore on this, so I went slow. Got it done in 10:03.

boy oh boy, have I been terrible.

I've been the WORST lately.

I've been stressed out at work, which means I haven't been able to exercise as much as usual. I've also been cheating a lot during the week. Stress eating does terrible things.

Additionally, I've been telling myself I will switch my cheat day to Sundays (for football and beer reasons) but still treating Saturday like a cheat day as well!

Hopefully I haven't undone ALL of my progress, but the last month or so has definitely seen a decline.

9.16.2013- Crisp Fall weather

Man is it beautiful outside these days. I adore sweater weather.

Of course, that doesn't mean I went outside to run. No, sir. Instead, I stayed inside and did my rowing.

First part of the workout was 5 sets of heavy 3 rep back squats. I did them at 235 pounds.

Next, the hard part. a 12 minute AMRAP of a 500 meter row followed by as many pushups as possible. The score on the workout would be determined by the total number of pushups I was able to do. Eventually, I got through 4 "sets" in the 12 minutes for 40 total push ups. I would have liked to get more, but I'm working on it, right?

9.13.2013- RAAAAAAAANDY!

The first part of today's workout was to do 1 maximum effort snatch lift. I got up to 135 pounds, a ten pound personal record form the last time I tried in April. So the day was already starting out strong.

The second part of the workout, even more snatch lifts. Like, WAY more snatch lifts. We did the Randy.  The workout consists of 75 snatch lifts at 75 lbs, done as fast as possible. It is a bitch. This, like all the hero workouts at Crossfit, is dedicated to a law man who lost his life in carrying out his service (this one was named after LAPD SWAT officer Randy Simmons who was killed in the line of duty on Febuary 6th, 2008.) Of course, that made me feel like a terrible person today, because when I heard the name of the workout all I could think about was this:

It was difficult to do the workout while giggling (alright, it would have been difficult without giggling too) but I got it done in 6:08!

9.6.13- In which I learn to play with others

As I've previously mentioned, I hate running. Part of the reason I hate running is that I always feel the need to keep up with the Adonises that work put at my gym, and I feel like a weak little fat dude. Partially for that reason, I have always gotten to the gym early, and did my warm up run before anyone else.

Today, Rob sprung the warm up run on us, so I had to go with the pack. It was no where near as bad as I thought it would be! During warm-up, no one really turns on the jets so I was able to keep up. Now, old habits die hard, and I'll probably continue to run early, but it's good to know it won't kill me to warm up with the rest of the group when required.

After this, we did a max weight 2 rep snatch (I got up to 125 pounds) followed by three rounds, for time, of a 25 calorie row and five 105 pound snatches. It was relatively easy (which is to say, still incredibly hard, but I didn't want to murder myself immediately afterward.) I took that thing down in 8:54.

9.4.13- Row that shiiiiiiit

Part one: 5 sets of 5 back squats. I topped out at 245.

Part two: 4 sets of 500 meters rowing, with a 1 minute rest between rounds. I did that in 11:45 or so (I forgot to write the exact seconds down!)

Now I am tired. Boom.

Fitness Update (Week 38)

Starting Stats (12/10/12)

Height- 5'8.5"

Weight- 336.6 lbs

Waist- 58.5"

Neck- 17.5"

Bodyfat- 46.9%

Current Stats (8/30/13)

Height- 5'8.5"

Weight- 305.8 lbs

Waist- 49.5"

Neck- 17"

Body fat- 38.22%

Change:

Weight: -30.8 lbs

Waist: -9"

Neck: -.5"

Body fat: -8.68%

8.28.13 & 8.29.13

I've been slacking off with my blogging, but that doesn't mean I've been slacking off in my workouts.

8.28.13-

This day was tough, and it left me sore for like a week. Here is what it was:

For time:

15-12-9
Deadlifts @ 175
Box Jumps @ 18

Rest 5min

15-12-9

Clean & Jerk @ 125

Box Jumps @ 18

Rest 5min

15-12-9

Snatch @ 75

Box Jumps @ 18

I finished that up in 33:39

3.29.13-

This day was also tough, though primarily because I was sore from the day before. 

It started with 5 sets of 5 push presses at 125. 

Then we moved on to the Helen, one of the hero workouts. 

3 rounds for time of a 500 meter row, 21 kettlebell swings at 16 Kg, and 12 ring rows. I got it done in 12:43. 

8.26.13- In which our hero gives up the battle to win the war.

It is so goddamn hot out today.

Seriously, it is unbearable. I don't have air conditioning at my apartment, so last night I slept on my parent's couch to get out of the heat. So, yeah, I knew Crossfit would be bad today. I also knew that my last fitness update was a disappointing one, and I've only got 6 days to make it up!

So go to crossfit I did.

The first part of the workout was 4 sets of 6 squat thrusts. I did mine at 205 pounds, which is heavy, but it was doable.

The second half of the workout was less doable:

-30 pull-ups (or in my case ring rows)
-30 burpees
-20 pull-ups
-20 burpees
-10 pull-ups
-10 burpees.

Honestly, I got all the pull-ups done, but I skipped many of the burpees. I may have been able to do them all, but I knew that if I really pushed hard and did everything today, I wouldn't be back for another week due to soreness. I figure that 5 workouts at 75% are better than 1 at 110%, right?

In any case, I was already sweating like Patrick Ewing.

Now, if only I could bottle it and sell it to someone...

8.23.13-Row your boat!

Hey Gang!

I took a few days off this week because my legs were so damn sore from Monday. Today was my first day back in action.

We started with 5 sets of 2 front squats at various weights. I topped out at 205 pounds.

The second part of the workout was... much worse. As prescribed, we were supposed to do 4 runs of 800 meters with a 2 minute rest between rounds. As previously discussed, I loath running. So I asked if I could row instead. Rob, being a nice dude, allowed me to row, but I had to row 1000 meters each time rather than 800. The workout took me 22:14. So, today I rowed 4000 meters (4 nautical miles!), and my total rowing time was 16:14.

Oofda, I need a nap.

8.19.13- Rusty after 2 weeks!

As I covered in my last post, I took a couple of weeks off of crossfit. As it turns out, this does not make it easier when you get back. I finished my workout like 45 minutes ago, took a shower, and then started sitting in an air conditioned office. I'm still sweating!

The first part of the workout was a 1 rep max on the clean and jerk. I wound up lifting 175 pounds. This is a 5 pound increase on my former PR of 170 from a month and a half ago. Once again, the thing I care most about is that I beat this guy:

BOOYA!

The second part of the workout was 5 rounds of 200 meters rowing and 10 thrusters at 85 pounds. Boy, it was tough as the dickens. I finished it off in 12:48. For about 5 minutes afterward I sat on my back and thought about the world I was living in. I've never done mushrooms, but I would guess that the sensation of being disconnected with the world that one feels after eating a few caps was similar to what I felt after the workout.

I never want to do mushrooms.

Fitness Update (week 36)

ok gang, It has been kind of a rough period. I had lunch meetings most days this week, and I was sick. This perfect storm of malaise meant that I only got 1 workout in this period, plus I ruthlessly cheated the last couple of days (when I am sickly, I give in to my every dietary impulse. Not a good attitude, I know.)

Starting Stats (12/10/12)

Height- 5'8.5"

Weight- 336.6 lbs

Waist- 58.5"

Neck- 17.5"

Bodyfat- 46.9%

Current Stats (8/16/13)

Height- 5'8.5"

Weight- 307.6 lbs

Waist- 49.5"

Neck- 17"

Body fat- 38.22%

Change:

Weight: -29.0 lbs

Waist: -9"

Neck: -.5"

Body fat: -8.68%

Fitness Update (Week 34)

Sorry gang,

It has been a bit since I updated. Here are the current stats!

Starting Stats (12/10/12)

Height- 5'8.5"

Weight- 336.6 lbs

Waist- 58.5"

Neck- 17.5"

Bodyfat- 46.9%

Current Stats (8/1/13)

Height- 5'8.5"

Weight- 305.8 lbs

Waist- 48.5"

Neck- 16.5"

Body fat- 37.64%

Change:

Weight: -30.8 lbs

Waist: -10"

Neck: -1"

Body fat: -9.26%

Holy Guacamole! good cycle! Not sure what I owe the great results too (I've just been working out like normal, and perhaps eating a little worse) but I'll take it!

Kickball!

I love hosting the Monday pubquiz, I really do, but there is no question I have had a little ache in my heart this summer.

Last summer, I joined a Monday night kickball league at Bossen field (team name: Like a Bossen) and it was a blast. Playing put me around great people, playing a fun game and enjoying beautiful summer weather every week. It's just the bees knees.

So when the my quiz venue shut me down for a week to celebrate their 10 year anniversary, of course I laced up my kickin' shoes and wandered down to the field. Pitching again brought back old memories, and (because this was my first and last game of the season) going 2-2 leaves me with a perfect 1.000 on base percentage.

Sure, we lost the game. Sure, the team hasn't won all season. But on Monday we had a lot of fun, and that makes us winners in my book. Check out some of the shots from the game:

Thats a good looking group!

I honestly do not recall this photo being taken. I must have 

been too deep in thought planning out how to strike out the other team. 

7.22.13- sweat sweaty...

Today was a rough one. From the beginning of the end of the workout, I could not, for the life of me stop sweating. The humidity was killing me!

The first part of the workout was back squat thrusts. I did a set of ten at 155, eight at 185, six at 225, four at 245 and two at 255. Somewhat taxing stuff!

Then, for the second part of the workout, we had to do this beast as fast as possible:

-21 sumo deadlift high pulls at 75 pounds
-21 push presses at 75 pounds
-15 sumo deadlift high pulls at 75 pounds
-15 push presses at 75 pounds
-9 sumo deadlift high pulls at 75 pounds
-9 push presses at 75 pounds

I took it down in 4:22, but boy am I tired now.

Fitness Update (week 32)

Starting Stats (12/10/12)

Height- 5'8.5"

Weight- 336.6 lbs

Waist- 58.5"

Neck- 17.5"

Bodyfat- 46.9%

Current Stats (7/19/13)

Height- 5'8.5"

Weight- 308.2 lbs

Waist- 49.5"

Neck- 16.5"

Body fat- 38.66%

Change:

Weight: -28.4 lbs

Waist: -9"

Neck: -1"

Body fat: -8.24%

So what happened here? After my two weeks of completely reckless cheating, followed by 2 weeks back on the plan I gained 3.8 pounds (not a complete surprise, but more than I was hoping.) Despite this weight gain, I still lost 1.75 inches on my waist, and lowered my body fat percentage  by almost a point and a half. That is crazy. 

Still, I can kind of feel it. When I go into the gym, I feel stronger. When I first got there, I could barely hold on to the pull-up bar, let alone do anything once I got up there. Now, I'm able to do a bit of swaying (called kipping) and I can feel myself getting better. If I keep going this way, I feel like I'll be able to do a pullup in the next 6 months (which I have NEVER been able to do before.) 

7.19.13- throw a twomp down

Today's workout was pretty simple: attempt to do 20 unbroken reps of backsquats with as much weight as possible. Of course, if you don't get to twenty, you hast have to be happy with what you did. Now, as it turns out, my eyes were a little bit bigger than my stomach on this one. I went for it with 225 pounds, and only managed 13.

After that, we had another doozy. Every other minute we had to do either 3 cleans at (in my case) 115 pounds, or (once again, in my case) 12 pushups. If I had done it prescribed, it would have been 205 pounds on cleans and 3 handstand pushups.

Good grief! It's been a grueling week, but I'm glad I did it. I'm not expecting to be down weight at my weigh in tomorrow morning, but at least I won't embarrass myself by having gained 20 pounds.

7.17.13- feeling the heat!

It is hot outside. Like, unbelievably hot. Unfortunately, my gym (like most crossfit gyms I believe) is pretty minimalist, and while they do have a number of large fans, they do not have air conditioning. To be honest, that still gives it a leg up on my apartment (which has no air conditioning and only a single small fan that I point directly at my bed.) Still, almost 100% of the time when I'm at crossfit I am doing something that is athletic and makes me sweaty. At home, most of the time I am sitting on my couch or in bed watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit for the 40th time, and when I am doing something that makes me sweaty, I'm having a lot more fun.*

*I enjoy cooking, ok? Get your mind out of the gutter.

In any case, none of that really mattered today. What mattered today was that my gym was going into it's last day of competition against the Mendota crossfit gym and we had ground to make up! As I discussed last week, there was no way I was going to help out the squad with my actual athletic performance. Instead, I showed up ready to motivate people like I was Burgess Meredith in Rocky.

However, there was a different mix of people in my class today. All of them we incredibly self motivated, and I got the feeling that me talking them up was simply going to annoy them. The last thing I would want is to annoy someone to the point that they actually got a lower score on the workout! That would make me more like Burgess Meredith in Batman.

Although, come to think of it, this character is 

certainly more in line with my personal sense of style. 

So the workout consisted of this:
-7 minute AMRAP of fifteen 95-pound thrusters and fifteen pull-ups
-7 minutes of rest
-1 rep maximum of the clean and jerk.

The score for the workout would be total thruster plus total pull-ups plus total weight on the clean and jerk.

Now, unlike yesterday, I was not gonna try this puppy prescribed. I am still a big beast of a man and cannot, under any circumstances, do a pull up. Instead, I did 65 pound thrusters and ring rows. In the first 7 minutes, I took down 3 full rounds, plus 15 thrusters and 11 ring rows. This process left me exhausted, so it was no surprise that I was only able to get up 155 pounds on the clean and jerk (20 pounds less than my PR.) Still, I'm happy with the work I'm putting in, and hopefully, we'll be able to come away with the win in the competition.

7.16.13- Call me the pharmacist.

So, yesterday's workout (like many workouts) came in two parts. First, we were supposed to work our way up to a one rep maximum on the snatch lift. I wasn't able to improve on my previous maximum of 125 pounds, but I was able to match it. No elation, but no real disappointment in that department.

My real happiness comes from the second part of the workout. It was certainly a strange one:

three rounds of

30 seconds of rowing (for calories)

30 seconds rest

30 seconds 24 Kg Kettlebell swings

30 seconds rest

30 20 lbs wall ball.

30 seconds rest.

The score for the workout would be total calories burned, plus total kettlebell swings, plus total wallballs.

Now, usually on the workouts, I scale down. I would have done lighter kettlebell, a lighter medicine ball on wall ball. Yesterday, however, I was feeling kind of sassy. I decided to try to do it prescribed. What the hell, I thought. I will measure myself against the other, fitter people in the gym. So what if I get the lowest score (by a lot)? I felt like some kind of pharmacist by doing prescribed. I felt like my hero.

Yes, I was born in the 80's

I was killing it on the first round, but I definitely petered out by the end. I could barely get 2 kettlebell swings in my last round. My muscles were dead and my lungs couldn't draw in air quickly enough. After the workout, I just laid on the ground for about 6 minutes.

And then I looked at the leader board. I scored 117 on the workout. This was very respectable and even beat a couple of people. In fact, I had even beat a couple of the people that had scaled down on the workout. Holy mackerel!

7.15.13- The morning grind

Usually, on Mondays -Wednesdays-Fridays, I take a break from work over my lunch hour to head into the gym. It is a nice way to break up the day a little. When I have appointments that fall on the lunch hour, I usually try to head to the gym after work. Unfortunately, because of my second job as a quiz master, this is not an option on Mondays. 

So when I looked at my calendar last Friday and saw I was pretty booked up during lunch today, I decided to do something I have never done for this gym: wake up early and hit a class before work. This is an issue because the latest morning class starts at 7:30, and it takes me about 45 minutes to get out to the gym from my apartment. So, I woke up at 6:15 this morning, neither bright eyed nor bushy tailed, and made the trudge out. 

When I got to the gym, I started my warmup and realized I didn't feel right. Running my warm-up, usually not a big problem for me, left me dragging. I told the owner, Rob, I didn't feel as strong this morning as I usually do. That is when he hipped me to this fun fact: our bodies are not meant for peak physical performance that early. Apparently, our bodies are in peak performance mode somewhere between 8 and 10 hours after we wake up. According to Rob, no world record for either running or weight lifting has ever been broken before noon. 

That fact was born out in my workout. the first part of the workout was 5 sets of 2 heavy deadlifts. Up to this point, my one rep maximum on the deadlift was 365 pounds. Today, my maximum double was 315, and when I tried for 335, I couldn't even get the bar off the ground the first time. 

The second part of the workout was sprints. 5 sprints of 10 meters, 4 sprints of 20 meters, 3 sprints of 30 meters, 2 sprints of 40 meters, 1 sprint of 50 meters (notice a trend?) Of course, of the three people running this, I finished dead last in almost every sprint. What can I say? It is hard to get this much mass of a man moving (wow, alliteration is fun.) 

In any case, I still did it. I did a workout when it would have been very easy to say screw it. For now, that is enough progress for me. 

7.10.13- In which our hero puts the I in team.

So, right now my crossfit gym is doing a competition with another gym in Mendota to see whose exercisers are the best at exercising. To be honest, I don't know all the rules, or how scoring works, but here is what I surmise from the postings I see:

-Both gyms have their members do the same workout on the same day.
-The top 10 overall men's and top 10 overall women's scores count
- the workouts must be done prescribed,so no scaling.
- points are awarded based on placement with low scores being best (like golf or whatever.)

On this particular day, the workout was a 10 minute AMRAP of a 250 meter row, 15 burpees and 10 deadlifts at 255 pounds. Here was the problem: On this day, CFSM happened to have one of the largest noon classes ever. It was like 20 people. Eventually, we split up into two "heats" to do the workout. Even then, with a group of ten, we ran into trouble, because the gym only has 8 rowing machines. The solution? 2 people in each heat were going to have to run.

Now, as previously discussed, I abhor running. It is the devil. Still, I knew that the competition would not count workouts for people who ran, so it was not smart to make out best people give up a rower. Looking at the situation, and knowing that my workout would not help the team out no matter which option I chose, I took one for the team and volunteered to do the running.

I don't like to throw around the world hero, but I was totally a hero to my gym in that situation.* Eventually, I got through 2 whole rounds of the workout, then started the run for round three with about 40 seconds left. As I jogged my way up the hill (incredibly slowly) I realized that I couldn't even see straight and gave up. I ended up with a final tally of 2 full rounds and 50 extra meters running. Now, two days later, I am still incredibly sore.




*Hopefully, everyone knows that is sarcasm. 

awful cheating period

So, I have a confession to make. During the week of the 4th of July, as well as the week before that, I was cheating all the time. Like, I pretended I didn't have a diet at all. The reasons for this cheating were many, ranging from stress, to sadness to celebration. In addition, due to a crazy schedule I only worked out once or twice in that time. Yeah, I regret it. That said, I'm glad I am writing it down, because this is a forum set up to hold myself accountable. I've got to tell you all when I turn back into that monster from Weird Science.

It's still better than looking like a regular Bill Paxton. 

During that 2 weeks, I got up to a top weight of 319.4 pounds. Yikes! Now, being that I've been doing this for a while, I know that when I start my diet again, that weight isn't going to stick around. As of this morning, I am back down to 307, but obviously, I would rather be lower. Something manageable like 180 or so.

So, this period becomes kind of a test. How much of my progress can truly be undone with 2 weeks of full out cheating? I don't know, but I'm hoping the answer is minimal.

7.8.13- Sunburn Sam and Pistol Pete

Today was my first workout back after a 9 day hiatus. During this hiatus, I laid out by the pool, drank beer, ate a copious amount of sumptuous meats and generally celebrated America in the most obnoxiously American way possible. It was awesome.

However, the first of those activities (laying out by the pool, for those of you with short attention spans) left me quite sunburn, as I have no medium setting between ghost white and lobster red. In particular, my left shoulder is burnt to a crisp, meaning that the first part of today's workout, front squat thrusts, hurt like the dickens. Nonetheless, I was still able to do my 5 sets of 2 reps for the front squat, topping out at 185 pounds. 

The second part of our workout was doing a 5 minute AMRAP of 10 pistols and 10 hanging leg lifts. Pistols, in case you are as confused as I was, are one legged squat thrusts. It is tough, and the whole gym struggled. Instead, almost all of us hopped up on a box and stuck one leg off, dipping down as low as we could with the other leg, until we had to give up and touch the ground. It was strange, and I only got through 3 rounds of it. 

That said, whenever we do pistols in the gym, all I can think about is this artist. He went too soon!

6.28.13- Hulking out!

Sorry to have not updated with this workout over the weekend, but I was celebrating Pride and winning in poker (not a bad combination.)

In any case, Fridays workout was pretty stellar. The key component to the workout was a session working up to (hopefully) our 1 rep maximum on the clean and jerk lift. Now, previously, my maximum on that lift was 135 pounds, not terrible but not great either. As it happened, I had some kind of breakthrough on Friday and got all the way up to 170 pounds, a 35 pound personal record!

This means that between April 5 and June 28, a little less than 2 months, I upped my one rep max on this lift by 25.9%. Hulking out!

As a matter of fact, I hulked out so much that (for the first time) I got more in a lift than Dr. Jake, one of the crossfit regulars and a big hunk of a man.

Look at that winning smile. I'd want him in my boy band!

6.24.13- Jump around!

Today's workout (like more workouts) came in 2 parts. The first half of the session, we were tasked with five sets of three front loaded squats, each getting progressively heavier. I started at 135, the increased by ten pounds all the way to 175. Honestly, I felt I could have done more, but I wanted to save my legs a little for the second half of the workout, holy shit am I glad I did.

The second half was 3 rounds, for time, of a 500 meter row then 100 jumps with the jump rope. This was terrible for a number of reasons:

1) This was 2 activities, in quick succession, which would classify as "cardio." Big guys like me gain no competitive advantage from moving heavy weights and thus, the smaller amongst the group lap me by even more than usual.

2) I'm terrible at jump rope (for now.) I tripped up about every 10th jump. It is just difficult to get this kind of mass far enough off the ground for long enough that a cord can pass through.

3) It is hot outside. Like, hot, muggy and awful. Being that I am a sweaty dude in general, days like this make me feel like I should volunteer at a fire department. Not as one of those heroes that climb into buildings and save people, but as a fire hydrant. I feel like I could easily provide them with 10 gallons/second. Afterward, I thought about drinking some muscle milk, but then I remembered the sage advice of one of my idols:

In any case, despite losing enough liquid to jump start a dried up river, I finished the workout in 14:16. oooo, doggy.

Fitness Update: Week 28

Starting Stats (12/10/12)

Height- 5'8.5"

Weight- 336.6 lbs

Waist- 58.5"

Neck- 17.5"

Bodyfat- 46.9%

Current Stats (6/21/13)

Height- 5'8.5"

Weight- 304.4 lbs

Waist- 51.25"

Neck- 16.25"

Body fat- 40.99%

Change:

Weight: -32.2 lbs

Waist: -7.25"

Neck: -1.25"

Body fat: -5.91%

6.20.13- Sitting on the Bench

Today's workout was a little out of character for Crossfit. No snatch lifts, no handstand pushups, no throwing medicine balls into the air. Instead, it was plain old bench presses. For some reason, this feels almost too vanilla for the exotic crossfit method. At least the number of reps got a little crazy. Here is what I did:

-10 Reps at 115
-8 reps at 125
-5 reps at 135

After that, things got a little more in line with what I have come to expect from Crossfit. 6 rounds, starting every 2 minutes, in which I had to do 15 Russian Kettlebell swings, with a 20 Kg weight,  and an 80 meter run.

A relatively light day, which is nice, because my legs are still killing me.

6.18.13- Double up!

The workout yesterday revolved around back loaded squat thrusts and rowing. Our class was completely full up. I think there were like 14 of us, so instead of us getting our own stations we all had to double up. As it turned out, I was partnered with Marc, a good dude and a running mate for lifting. Honestly, he is much more in shape than me, so I have to thank him for being gracious and not giving me a sideways glance when I  topped out at 185 pounds for the squat thrusts.

Surely, a man able to grow as impressive and well groomed a beard as he is more of a man than I

In any case, both of us pulled off 5 sets of 5 back loaded squat thrusts at 185 pounds, and much rejoicing was done in out land. Then came the rowing part of the workout. We had to row 16 heats  (8 each) of 200 meter efforts, switching between partners with each run. It was like a relay from hell. Afterwards, I laid out on the grass for a couple of minutes, contemplating the lack of air in my lungs and the fictional stars before my eyes. It was rough.

That said, Marc and I were like the 2nd team in the class to finish, which meant we did alright. Of the 8 runs, my fastest time was 38.2 seconds, while my slowest time was 44.5 seconds. Not the best, but not the worst either. 

Now I am walking like a goddamn Frankenstein. I might take the day off... ughhhhhh. 

6.17.13- The Cindy

Today, we were given our choice of two hero workouts to attempt. We could choose "the Chelsea" (which is 1 round, every minute on the minute for 30 minutes, of 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups and 15 air squats) or "The Cindy" (which is as many rounds as possible of the above workout in 20 minutes.) When faced with this choice, 20 something single guy bar logic started working it's course. Did I want to kill myself for the minuscule chance that I could bag the better option, or go for the second prize and lock up a sure thing. My mind was working like Russell Crowe's in that one movie:

You know, Master & Commander

In any case, I (of course) went with the Cindy. Now, even though this was the easier option, I still had to put the odds a little more in my favor. After all, this was a pure body weight loaded workout, and I have more body weight than anyone else in the class. I went with my trusty ring-rows and decided to ratchet down the difficulty of the push-ups by doing them on my knees. In the 20 minutes, I got through 12 complete cycles plus 5 ring rows and 10 push ups. Not the best in the class, but not the worst either. 

6.14.13- Rowing for Jerks

When I looked at the website to find out the workout of the day, I almost started crying. As I've said before, I despise running. I hate it so goddamn much. And today was supposed to be a heavy running day. Here was the workout most people did:

-Run 400 meters

- Do a maximum weight clean and jerk.

- Repeat, as much as possible, for 20 minutes. 

Yuck and yuck. 

Luckily, I'm a pretty smooth talker, so I was able to do rowing instead of running.* Instead of running for 400 meters, I'd have to row for 500, but that is a small price to pay to get out of moving this large mass of man around in the humidity. So, after a few minutes of rowing, I'd put 125 pounds above my head. I did that 7 times in the 20 minutes, which means I put up 875 pounds of weight and rowed 1.75 nautical miles. Boom!

*this was accomplished with the killer line "can I just row instead?" To which Rob said, "yeah, bro."

6.11.13- The Fran (take two)

On Tuesday* I did a hero workout called the Fran, which is as follows:

-21 Thrusters
-21 pull-ups
-15 thrusters
-15 pull-ups
-9 thrusters
-9 pull-ups

 This was not my first tangle with this particular beast of a workout, but it was my first time ever re-doing a hero workout to see how far I've come. I am still unable to do this workout as prescribed, the question at this point is just how should I scale it. I considered doing it with exactly the same scale (45 pounds on the thrusters and ring rows), to get a good idea of my improvement, but instead I decided to be a little feisty. I upped the weight on my bar to 65 lbs, and I went with an honest to god pull-up (with the help of some resistance bands.) My pull-up form wasn't pretty. I was basically jumping off the floor and getting an unnatural boost from super strong rubber bands stretched to their breaking point. To get a good idea, it looked kind of like that scene in Flubber where Robin Williams is bouncing all around the gym with no control. Still, I was proud to make the leap.

I ended up completing the workout in 9:02. This is a longer time than it took me the first time through, but I did something much harder, so I'm pretty happy.


*Sorry it took me so long to write about it.

6.10.13- Getting back into the swing of things

Today's workout was all about getting back in the swing after two very busy weeks in which I was only able to get 1 workout in.

The first part of the workout was an attempt to establish a new personal record for the dead lift. Despite my two week absence, I was able to beat my previous record by 30 pounds! This was mostly due to a new technical innovation. I switched up my grip and things got so much easier. I felt like I could have gone bigger, but the time was running low and I figured I would let myself get a new PR next time too.

After that came a bit of cardio. Most of the class was tasked with the chore of running 4 heats of 400 meters each, taking a one minute break between each heat. As previously established I loath running, so I decided to switch it up and do my 4 heats by rowing 500 meters. My times (1:57.9, 2:04.8, 2:14.0 and 2:06.7) were actually pretty good. That means I rowed a nautical mile in a little over 8 minutes. Not too shabby, maybe I'll get my sea legs after all.

the cycle of despair

well, folks, sorry I haven't updated in a while. This week has been incredibly busy. between work, weddings and the pestilence that has fallen upon me, I haven't been able to get too much done. I've only been able to get 1 workout in for the last 2 weeks and my eating has not been great (when I get sick, quiznos starts calling my name hard.)

My hope is to gain less than a pound in this cycle, so we'll see how that works out.

Fitness Update: Week 24

I am posting this update on a day in which I feel decidedly NOT fit. I am sickly and it is terrible. Still, I need to give the people who care about me the latest stats. Here they are:

Starting Stats (12/10/12)

Height- 5'8.5"

Weight- 336.6 lbs

Waist- 58.5"

Neck- 17.5"

Bodyfat- 46.9%

Current Stats (5/24/13)

Height- 5'8.5"

Weight- 306.6 lbs

Waist- 51"

Neck- 16.75"

Body fat- 40.45%

Change:

Weight: -30 lbs

Waist: -7.5"

Neck: -1"

Body fat: -6.45%

So, a loss of 4 pounds this cycle! way to go, Me! 

That said, I do not expect good things next time around. forces of the universe are keeping me from working out more than one time this week. Eek!

5.24.13- The Helen

So, Rob and Laura (the owners of my Crossfit gym) are on vacation for the next week starting today. So instead of relying on the people I usually trust to make my life a living hell, I got a whole new cast of characters to torture me. It appears that Bobby, one of the regulars at the gym who also works as a personal trainer, has taken up the mantel of the draconian drill sergeant, tasked with shaping this gelatinous glob of man flesh.

What I did NOT know, is that when Rob and Laura go away, the class sizes dwindle. Kind of like how high schoolers might skip biology when a sub comes in. Unfortunately, this meant that I was the only person in my class today! This meant that Bobby only had one person to focus his training rage into. Now, if you are used to group classes, one on one sessions turn into quite a shock. Bobby never let me slack, so while I'm very grateful, and the results are good, well, I'll let Eric Carmen tell you how I felt:

So, After a few reps of push pressing, we got around to the hard stuff. The Helen. As prescribed it is:

 3 Rounds for time of
 -400m Run
 -21 KB Swings  24Kg 
 -12 Pull-ups

Of course, I scaled it a bit. As evil as Bobby is, he wasn't going to force me to do stuff I can't do. Instead, I rowed 500 meters, did the kettle bell swings with 20 Kg and did 12 ring rows. It was tough, especially doing it while under the watchful eye of Sauron. Nonetheless, I conquered it in 16 minutes and 4 seconds. It's true one does not simply walk into Mordor, but one can row, swing and pull themselves in. I'm proud of that. So thanks, Bobby, for forcing me to work my tail off, even if I do hope to never be in class by myself again.

5.23.13- Back that squat up

The first part of yesterday's workout was sets of 5 back squat thrusts. To be honest, I didn't write down the weights I acheived, and now I am having a bit of a brain fart. For some reason, I thought I got a couple of sets with 285 lbs done, but that would be strange since my previous single rep max was 265. Well, shit... chalk that up to poor record keeping.

That said, it is possible I guess. I've been working out hard and I can feel my behind getting stronger. Pretty soon, I'll look like an extra in a Juvenile video.

except, you know... a dude.

After that, we had a workout where we had to do, for time, 7 rounds of 7 push-ups, 5 leg tucks, and another 5 pushups. I took it down in 7:51 seconds. Now for the last workout day of the week!

5.22.13- That's why I'm easy...

On week 2 of my attempt to hit the gym every day, I was thankful that Wednesday's workout wasn't super intense.

First, we had to attempt to get our 1 rep maximum for the snatch lift. As it turned out, working out every day is exhausting and I was not able to establish a new maximum. In fact, I wasn't even able to hit my previous maximum (125 lbs.) Looks like I was taking even easier than most yesterday, and I topped out at 115. However, I did that weight a grip of times, so I don't feel too bad.

After snatching, we did some slow form workout. 4 rounds of 5 super slow overhead squats, then 5 super slow good mornings, both with a 45 lbs weight. It may not have been Christmas, but with how hard I had to work on Monday and Tuesday it sure felt that way.

5.21.13- Double Down

Well, after going a little crazy last week (doing a class 5 days in a row) I am getting even a little crazier this week. You see, I'm still planning on hitting class Monday through Friday this week, and yesterday they convinced me to do TWO classes.

The first was an efficiency class. We were just working on form for a clean and jerk lift. To be honest, I'm not sure how much better my form is now, because I didn't start out that great at it. Looking at my weightlifting form and trying to figure out what is wrong is like trying to help Charles Barkley fix his golf swing.

Such a sweet stroke. 

In any case, after working on form for a full hour, I moved on to the real class. We were to build up to a 1 rep maximum for the dead lift. Now, I didn't have a previous dead lift maximum written anywhere, so I just went as high as I could and hoped that even with my depleted energy reserves I got a new max. My top weight was 315 lbs. 

Then, we moved on the the cardio portion of the workout. While most of the class ran sprints, I and a few other member of the class did rowing sprints. Essentially, we rowed as hard as we could for 10 seconds then took 50 seconds off. Not too shabby, I suppose. 

5.20.13- the Wood

Today's WOD seemed designed strictly for the purposes of ruining my week. The workout at prescribed was as follows:

“Wood”

5 rounds for time of:
400m Run
10 Burpee Box Jumps @ 24
10 Thrusters @95
10 Sumo Deadlift High Pull @ 95

Rest 1min between Rounds

Maximum time cut-off of 30 Minutes. Ain't Nobody Got Time For That.  

Holy smokes! In any case, I altered those numbers a little. First of all, I did my box jumps at 18 inches, rather than 24. I also decreased the weights from 95 lbs to 65 lbs. Also, after two rounds of running and making my existence awful, I switched up to a 500 meter row. Eventually I got through 3 whole rounds and through the rowing a burpees on round four before my time expired. Rob promised that the rest of the week would be super easy. He better keep to his promise this time!

5.17.13- Balls to the Wall

Today marked my fifth day in a row working my tail off at Crossfit, but that doesn't mean I was allowed to slack off for today's workout. It was a tough one. First we did our 1 rep max for the clean lift (I got to 155.) After that, we had to start the wall ball:

Despite the fact that I've been doing crossfit for about 6 months now, I had never had the... pleasure... of doing wall ball. Honestly, I thought it looked like fun. Oh, how wrong I was.

so today's workout was:

For time:

12 Cleans at 115
30 Wall Ball (10 lbs Medicine ball)
9 Cleans @ 155/103
20 Wall Ball
6 Cleans @ 155/103
10 Wall Ball

About 10 throws into that first set of wall ball, my lungs started to seize up. It felt like I couldn't breath AND like I was going to throw up (thank god I didn't have anything in my stomach.) That said, even though it felt like I was going to die, I finished that mother fucking workout. It took me 7 minutes and 24 seconds, but I beat that thing like Ivan Drago beat Apollo Creed. 

5.16.13- In which I am tricked!

So, I'm trying this thing where I go to work out 5 days in a row. Thus far, I am incredibly tired and sore, and that only stands to get worse. That said, I am seeing pretty great results! I'm sure it is partially the increased working out and partially the fact that I haven't really been cheating on my diet at all this week. So, hopefully the next weigh in will be a good one.

Good results aside, lets discuss deception for a moment. Yesterday's workout, as described on the website was as follows:

For time

500m Row
21 KB Swings @ 16
21 TTB (toe to bar, I actually just did tucks)

500m Row
15 KB Swings @ 16
15 TTB

500m Row
9 KB Swings @ 16
9 TTB

Now, that is bad, especially after 3 days in a row, but it could be worse. See, for men of my size, rowing is actually kind of fun. We aren't put at a disadvantage because we aren't being asked to move our body weight. Also, it makes us feel less inferior because when everyone is rowing together, we all remain pretty stationary. You don't have to feel the shame of watching some Adonis woosh past you smiling. So, when I looked at the site and saw we were rowing, I was very happy.

Then I got to the gym...

Rowing had been replaced with 400 meter runs. I HATE running. Hell, I might have skipped the workout yesterday if I knew I would be required to huff and puff my way up and down the hill. The Oxford English Dictionary defines Deceive as  to "cause someone to believe something that is not true, typically in order to gain some personal advantage." There is no question that Rob Gerdes caused me to believe something that was not true, and from that he gained personal satisfaction from my soul dying a little. 

For every 5 souls he crushes, he gets another pound on his maximum deadlift. Needless to say, he's pretty strong. 

In any case, despite my pain, I made it through the workout in a about 18 minutes. I'm feeling haggard, but no one ever said transforming my body would be easy. I'm just lucky to feel that the rewards are worth the sacrifices. 

5.15.13- McGhee

Today we did the McGhee workout. As perscribed, the McGhee consists of:

5 deadlifts at 275
13 push ups
9 twenty-four inch box jumps.

Done as many times as you can. For 30 minutes. Holy Shit.

When done by someone much more competent than me, it looks like this:

Of course, I am not more competent than me, so instead I did:

5 deadlifts at 205
13 push ups
9 twenty inch step ups (where you step onto the box, rather than jump. My shins were scared.)

In twenty minutes (the class was a little shortened today, I didn't give up early.) I got through 7 whole rounds. It was tough, but I felt good after it was done.

Today marked day 3 in a row of Crossfit, a personal record. Heck, depending on how I feel tomorrow (and what the workout is) maybe I'll try to see what 5 in a row feels like!

5.14.13- I thought it looked fun (ha!)

Usually, I only go to crossfit on Mondays, Wednesdays and Friday. However, after looking at the workout scheduled for yesterday, I actually thought it looked fun, so I decided to head over.

The workout started with 2 Box Squats at 155 lbs every minute for 12 minutes. Not the easiest thing ever, but certainly not the hardest.

The second part of the workout was 12 minutes of steady weight lifting, at the same weight (I used 75 lbs.)

10 presses
15 over head squats
20 push presses
25 front squats
30 jerks
35 back squats.

It was rough! While I may have used the lightest weight of any guy in the class, I was still one of only two people to actually finish the workout (in 11:50)

I'm really hoping it doesn't leave me too gassed to perform well on the workout today.

5.13.13- Jump around

Today's workout actually had 3 parts.

First, we played a weird mash-up of freeze-tag and kick the can. I won't even try to explain it here, but needless to say, my cunning and guile carried the day for my team, and we would be victorious.*

*read: we lucked into a good strategy, that I had very little to do with. We took advantage for a long time before the other team knew what was going on and we won the game.

After this game, we moved on to 2 rep front squat thrusts. I am not very good at these, as I have a tendency to lean too far forward, and I can never keep my danged elbows up. I was, however, able to get some decent weights today lifting 155-165-175-185-165.

Afterward came the hard stuff. We were supposed to do 100 double unders on the jump rope, followed by 25 pull ups.We had a time limit of 10 minutes, and were supposed to get through 4 whole rounds of that shit . Of course, this was my reaction:

Instead, I did 300 regular jumps on the jump rope, then 25 ring rows. I was suppose to still do 4 rounds of that, but that was still impossible for me (at this point.) I got through one whole round in the 10 minutes, plus 147 more jumps. Not too shabby right?