Fitness Update (week 20)

Starting Stats (12/10/12):

Height- 5'8.5"

Weight- 336.6 lbs

Waist- 58.5"

Neck- 17.5"

Bodyfat- 46.9%

Current Stats (4/25/13)

Height- 5'8.5"

Weight- 312.4 lbs

Waist- 51.5"

Neck- 16.75"

Body fat- 40.78%

Change:

Weight: -23.2lbs

Waist: -7"

Neck: -..75"

Body fat: -6.12%

So, despite actually gaining in the last 4 weeks (no huge surprise considering my 2 week long cheat-a-thon) I actually dropped another inch in my waist and about a half percent body fat.

Hopefully, this cycle will work even more gang busters!

4.26.13- Stop, Hammer time

Today's installment of Crossfit had me doing the workout crossfit calls THE HAMMER.

This workout as proscribed is:

5 Rounds for time:

5 Cleans @ 135/93
10 Front Squats @ 135/93
5 Jerks @ 135/93
20 Pull-ups
Rest 2 min between Rounds

When done as proscribed, it looks like this: 

I think he may have made some edits to skip his rest time in there. Most people wouldn't be able to tell, but I'm experienced and can tell by some of the pixels. 

I, of course, did not do it as proscribed, because (as I've mentioned before) I am no hero. 

Instead, I started with the weight at 95 pounds, then after 2 rounds, when my arms were dead, I dropped down to 75 pounds. Also, I did ring rows. I got that done in a total of 20:24, which isn't bad. However, I probably spent more than 20 minutes on my back immediately after the work out, trying to figure out whether I had been hit by a bus. 

Still, as hard as the workout was, the biggest challenge was not giggling due to the name. I could only think of 2 things. First, the obvious 90's pop music reference: 

However, it was also hard for my to keep the next video (which my Professional Responsibility teacher first showed me in law school) out of my head: 

4.24.13 - lemme snatch that

The primary objective in today's workout was to work up to a maximum weight in a lift called the snatch. For those of you uneducated, the snatch looks like this:

... only faster and with less cowbell based techno beats. 

My previous record was a measly 105 pounds set a little over a month ago (3/19/13). Turns out, I bested that record by a quiet bit today. As of today, I can say that I can snatch lift 125 pounds. Now, this certainly isn't a world record or anything, but it certainly leaves me feeling more powerful. If you see me today, don't be too offended if I do this to you:

4.22.13- Redemption!

After last week's embarrassing episode, I was, understandably I think, I bit embarrassed. Nonetheless, I threw caution to the wind and went back for more today!

So here was the workout:

First- 5 sets of three front loaded squat thrusts (gulp).

After much hand wringing about tearing my shorts again, I got these done with relative ease and little incident. My weights were: 135-150-155-165-165. Boom!

After the weight lifting, we had a speed workout:

-20 Kettle bell swings (for me, the weight was 16 Kg.)
-30 hanging tucks (the proscribed workout was hanging like you are about to do a pull up, then touching your toes to the pull-up bar 30 times. Ain't nobody got time for that!)
- 500 meter row.

I tried to measure myself against another guy at the gym. One who is also still working himself into decent shape. It took him 7 minutes to complete that workout. It took me 4:07. Guess I'm doing pretty decently after all!

4.17.13- Embarrassing moment!

So, today's workout was 5 sets of five back squat thrusts.

I got through the first four sets at 185 pounds, with relatively little issue.

This post is not about those first four sets, this post is about the last set, and one of the most embarrassing moments of junior high.

On my last set, I stuck with the same weight, 185 pounds. The first two lifts went alright. Then, on the third lift I heard a sound that continues to haunt my dreams.

*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPP*

Right up the ass seem.

No, this was not the first time I had heard this sound, nor the most public. The incident that holds both of those titles occurred in seventh grade, when a young upstart named Nick was the star of the junior high play. the show was Guys and Dolls and I played the character Nathan Detroit, a fast talking wise guy mobster. Near the end of the show, there was a big dance number in which I was tasked with jumping off a table and doing the splits (at least as much as I could) in the air.

During the last show of our run, this resulted in disaster.

The cheap suit my parents had bought me for the part (because, really, one should not spend a lot of money for a suit for a 7th grade boy to dance in) tore up the seam. Like, from my knee all the way to my waist line. Luckily, I was a fucking pro. I kept on going through the end of the play, just making sure I never turned my back to the audience. Probably, no one would have known if not for the fact that my junior high brethren couldn't keep their shit together and were laughing at me the whole time.

Yes, dear readers, the fame of being the guy who split his pants is a harsh mistress. It is a mantle I have had for a long time, and now a mantle that I will continue to hold with an entirely new group of people.

Just call me captain underpants.

4.13.13- Mucho Sumo

My last shot at the grindstone before my big trip to DC. As I said, next weekend will be a big cheat weekend, so today I tried to work extra hard to preemptively keep myself from gaining like 100 pounds in four days.

The Workout
Every thirty seconds for ten rounds I did 2 Sumo dead lifts at 135# plus the band. If you are confused at to what I am talking about, look at this video:

After that, I did AMRAP in 8 minutes of:

-7 Deadlifts at 155#
-105 jumps on the jump rope

It took me until 7:59 to get there, but I finished 3 whole rounds. Then I collapsed.

Cheat city

As you all know, last week was my birthday. Unfortunately, that means I kind of went off the rails this week. Eating some pizza with friends from out of town Friday, Beer and chinese food Saturday, Hashbrowns from breakfast Sunday. All bad, but nothing could compare to the mega goliath of cheating: The cookie Skillet.

Laura told me that, for my birthday, not dessert request was too outlandish. I requested a cookie skillet, and she went crazy-go-nut-university on the project. A large, chocolate chunk pecan cookie, baked in a skilled, with izzy's vanilla ice cream, home made hot fudge, home made salted caramel, and pecan pieces. It looked like this:

Ladies and gentlemen, the is a temptation that Gandhi wouldn't have passed up

So yeah, last weekend was rough on my diet. To compound matters, this weekend I am winging my way to our nations capital to cheer on my old mock trial team with some other alumni. I made these plans several months ago, and my ex-coaches, both of whom like to eat, elicited a promise from me that Nationals weekend would be diet free. 

Oh boy. Hopefully I remember to take my measurements Thursday before I fly out. Or maybe I'll just skip it....

4.8.13- In which he (maybe) establishes a new Front Squat PR.

So, here was the workout of the day:

At least 7 reps of a front loaded squat thrust (hopefully) leading up to a new PR in weight.

I didn't know until today what my PR in the front squat was, but I figured it out today.

I eventually got up to 195 pounds successfully, but I Messed up and dropped my highest weighted bar (205.) Looks like now I've got something to shoot for.

After that, the fit people did AMRAP of pull-ups with a towel between their legs (to make sure the feet stay tight or something.) If they drop the towel, they have to do 10 Hollow-rocks as a penalty:

Now, I am still too out of shape to do a regular pull-up, so I'm rocking the ring rows, and today I did AMRAP  in 5 min of 10 ring rows, followed by 10 hollow rocks. Eventually, I got up to 35 ring rows. Not too shabby, I guess. Still, I'm itching to get that assisted pull-up teed up. I tried it with the heaviest band, and I think I am somewhat close. Maybe 2 months away.

4.5.13- Running isn't great

Today's workout of the day started out with a brisk 800 meter jog outside. This is rough for me, as 800 meters is probably the longest sustained distance I have run since I was 17. It has left me coughing up my guts like Smeagol.

Luckily, I also share his skin complexion. 

Then on to the real workout:

Clean and Jerk
1-Rep-Max (Eventually, I got to 135 lbs- New Personal Record!)

then:

Supersets of: 

Split Press/Power Press
5-5-5-5-5
Good Mornings
5-5-5-5-5 

If you're like me, up until today you thought a good morning was waking up at ten, kicking it in your pajamas and eating cheesy hash browns. Apparently, me and crossfit don't have the same definitions of a few words. To them, a good morning looks like this: 

When this was being demonstrated, I couldn't help but giggle to myself that this movement is also the way to make sure your girlfriend has a good morning.*

*Sorry for the dick joke, mom. 

Chicken Saltimbocca

As previously discussed, my girlfriend Laura is awesome. One of her best qualities is that she loves to cook and is amazing at it. So when I tell her about this slow carb diet I am on, she views it as a challenge to make me the best possible meals while remaining on plan.

Last night, we had Chicken Saltimbocca, a traditional Italian dish with some steamed asparagus. To give you a little insight into how good of a cook Laura is, this dish tasted better than it looked which is hard when it looks like this:

Even if I am a crumby photographer...

So, here is how you make it (at least Laura's way)

-Take about a pound and a half of chicken breast and slice the breasts about in half. Make sure they are somewhat thin, but still leave a lot of surface area.

- Take a couple leaves of Sage and roll them up in a slice of prosciutto. 

- Wrap the newly thin chicken breast around the prosciutto/herb concoction. Tie the wraps up with string or stab it with some tooth picks.

- Put a pan on medium heat and throw down a grip of butter (ok, so it's not quite as on plan as I first led you to believe, but if you want to try it healthy, use olive oil)

- Sear the chicken on both sides until it looks golden brown and pretty.

- Put in about a cup of white wine as well as some capers. Loosely cover the pan and cook until the wine reduces, or you get too hungry and have to eat.

Try it out, you'll thank me. 

4.3.13- Crossfit, birthday edition!

Well, it is my birthday. That meant that the powers that be at Crossfit South Metro had an inordinate amount of control over just how good I felt to usher in my 27th year.

Here was the workout:

Back Squat
3-3-3-3-3

*Compare to Jan 29, 2013

then:

4x400m Run
Rest 1min between efforts

I switched up my weight in the backsquats, but I eventually topped out at 165#. Not terrible!

What was terrible was my running. I had to switch up the distances on the 400M run, going down to 200 after 2 sets. 

I'm out of shape, but I'm getting there.