So, today's workout was 5 sets of five back squat thrusts.
I got through the first four sets at 185 pounds, with relatively little issue.
This post is not about those first four sets, this post is about the last set, and one of the most embarrassing moments of junior high.
On my last set, I stuck with the same weight, 185 pounds. The first two lifts went alright. Then, on the third lift I heard a sound that continues to haunt my dreams.
*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPP*
Right up the ass seem.
No, this was not the first time I had heard this sound, nor the most public. The incident that holds both of those titles occurred in seventh grade, when a young upstart named Nick was the star of the junior high play. the show was Guys and Dolls and I played the character Nathan Detroit, a fast talking wise guy mobster. Near the end of the show, there was a big dance number in which I was tasked with jumping off a table and doing the splits (at least as much as I could) in the air.
During the last show of our run, this resulted in disaster.
The cheap suit my parents had bought me for the part (because, really, one should not spend a lot of money for a suit for a 7th grade boy to dance in) tore up the seam. Like, from my knee all the way to my waist line. Luckily, I was a fucking pro. I kept on going through the end of the play, just making sure I never turned my back to the audience. Probably, no one would have known if not for the fact that my junior high brethren couldn't keep their shit together and were laughing at me the whole time.
Yes, dear readers, the fame of being the guy who split his pants is a harsh mistress. It is a mantle I have had for a long time, and now a mantle that I will continue to hold with an entirely new group of people.
Just call me captain underpants.
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