The Fucking Worst

As I've said before, the owners at CrossFit South Metro are amazing people, and they are doing incredible things to help me get in better shape. That said, sometimes they are absolute devil people who should just go fuck themselves.*

*Just kidding. They are much stronger than me and I fear their physical domination too much to actually talk shit about them.**

** still, fuck those dudes. 

Today, they put me through hell. Given, I am an enormous (literally and figuratively) pussy (only figuratively), but this was the hardest I have ever worked, and I didn't even do the proscribed plan. 

Here was the proscribed plan: 

Cycle 1

Within 10 minutes: 

-5 dead lifts at 275 lbs (I did 135)

-Burpees*

-5 dead lifts at 275 lbs

-Burpees

-5 dead lifts at 275 lbs

-Burpees

-5 dead lifts at 275 lbs

-Burpees

-5 dead lifts at 275 lbs

-Burpees

This is a burpee. It is awful. Especially for a large man like myself. 

You get the remainder of the 10 minutes to rest until the next workout cycle.

Cycle 2

Within 10 minutes:

-5 snatch lifts* at 175 (I think... I just did the 45 pound bar)

-5 burpees

-5 snatch lifts

-5 burpees

-5 snatch lifts

-5 burpees

-5 snatch lifts

-5 burpees

-5 snatch lifts

-5 burpees

This is a snatch lift. I ended up only being able to lift the bar with no weights.

 Why? Because I am a pussy. We've been over this. 

You get the remainder of the 10 minutes to rest until the next workout cycle.

Cycle 3

Within 10 minutes: 

-5 overhead squat thrusts at 125 pounds (I just did air squats at this point.) 

- 5 burpees

-5 overhead squat thrusts

-5 burpees

-5 overhead squat thrusts

-5 burpees

-5 overhead squat thrusts

-5 burpees

-5 overhead squat thrusts

-5 burpees

For those of you keeping track at home, that is a shit load of weight lifting and 75 goddamn burpees. AfterI was done, I just sat down and tried to breath, even though it felt like my lungs refusing to inflate. I was coughing up a storm, feeling a terrible headache and generally wondering what the hell happened. Good golly, miss Molly did I feel in rough shape. Still, I'm proud I did it. I'm very much looking forward to the day when I am in shape enough to start doing these proscribed workouts.